Overcoming The Fears of Pregnancy

By Deanne Bañares-Dimacali

I have a confession to make: when I was going through my miscarriage, I found myself whispering, ‘At least you don’t have to go through pregnancy just yet.’ It seems a bit jarring, I know. But anything to get me out of the misery, right?

A few weeks after that thought crossed my mind, I wondered what made me think that. Why didn’t I want to go through pregnancy? Then there was that one looming emotion that stuck out like a sore thumb: fear.

I was afraid to go through the challenges, difficulties, and pains of pregnancy. Whether it meant the excruciating pain of childbirth or the foreseeable difficulty of changing my life, I didn’t want to feel any of it yet. Especially now, so much of pregnancy speak is done with a sense of trembling tales and cautionary words. You’ll always feel nauseous! The pain is out of this world! Say goodbye to seeing friends! When advice always walks along that line (although they speak the truth), then pregnancy definitely becomes something to be fearful of, something to put off till later on when we think we’ve garnered enough courage.

The truth is we will never be fully ready for this significant moment.

The truth is fear will come but we don’t need to be its slave.

Because women are strong enough, resilient enough.

Because we can change the script from we have to (said with a grudging tone) to we get to (said with a grateful heart).


Dear mamas, let’s change our approach, shall we? Here are things we can tell our pregnant selves when we feel fear creeping its way through our bumps:

We get to be healthy.
Our doctors will always tell us, from day one, to live a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes we meet that advice with a frown on our faces. But isn’t this a chance to finally take care of our health and well-being? Sure, we’ll have to sacrifice burgers and fries and salty and sweet for the development of our baby but in the end, we mamas are going to benefit from it, too. See this pregnancy as an opportunity to become your healthiest self.

We get to enjoy the traditions of pregnancy.
Who says pregnant women miss out on all the fun? Pregnancy means baby showers, maternity shoots, baby registries, and home redecorating. It’s like planning for your wedding all over again. It’s another time in a woman’s life where we can get creative, plan little parties, and shop for cute baby stuff. Truly exciting times ahead!

We get to encounter the love and care of others.
Family, friends, neighbors, and strangers – they all feel a sense of responsibility and care for pregnant women. The mere sight of a woman toting a bump can pull at the heartstrings of another. Get ready to be pampered with massages from the husband, food from the family, gifts from friends and neighbors, and respect from strangers. Welcome these benefits with open arms.

We get to experience the most amazing thing called childbirth.
Just think of the grandeur of it all – women get to literally bring life into this world. Through all the contractions and the pushes, mamas participate in this phenomenon that only our bodies can do. Yes, there is pain, but think of the pain as just going through something hella extraordinary. There’s nothing more amazing we can do than childbirth.

We get to carry a life.
I have to admit, I’ll never get used to the fact that there is another human being inside of me. When I walk, there are two steps; when I breathe, there are two breaths. Only women get the chance of experiencing this miracle. I think we ought to embrace it with as much joy and gratitude as we can. Besides, it only means that there’s a wonderful, fulfilling life ahead of us (and inside of us!).

Yes, there will be fear but it doesn’t mean we have to tremble. All of this is part and parcel of being a woman and a mother. Aren’t we so blessed, mamas?

About the Author:
Deanne Bañares-Dimacali is a young housewife, soon-to-be-mom, and freelance writer for several magazines and online publications. Hoping to create a more thoughtful and storied life, she also pens her day-to-day musings on marriage, pregnancy, and womanhood on her blog www.classymusings.com.